Tuesday, October 03, 2006

"How do you roll?" - Office Edition

There has to be a blog dedicated to photos taken from offices with killer views. Office porn if you like, though I'm sure clicking on that link will take you to many many web pages filled with explicit images of "secretaries" and "bosses daughters" demonstrating innovative uses for office chairs.


I'm posting this shot taken from my office though in the spirit of the gone but not forgotten Photoshop Tennis, or maybe Kitten War - where our boy Tuncer has garnered a gaudy 914 victories.

I'm less sure of my chances against the admittedly stunning view from our friend Ayelet's new office in Haifa.


While I can only say that on a clear day I can see practically to San Leandro, I am also only ten minutes away from Arizmendi pizza.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Struggle Between Summer and Fall

Dying tomato plants are what passes for fall color in our yard, I thought I'd share.

A couple of week ago now, I tried to sneak a dinner by Amy that would have included leafy greens and portobello mushrooms. She called me on prematurely 'going autumn', and was having none of it. Our tomato plants are on their way out though, and the light is taking on the qualities I associate with fall.



Life In a Brick House

It's been a while since we posted any photos here. The process and I went through a dark period after I threw web pages for vacation photos together. But this photo, taken just after the last guest left our paella party, seemed to capture something of our life in a brick house. Enjoy.

Kernighan vs. Allison in City Council District 2

The runoff election between Pat Kernighan and Aimee Allison in Oakland's City Council District 2 has been on my mind all weekend. I drove down Trestle Glen Road Friday night, and the only yard signs I saw were in support of Pat Kernighan. On MacArthur boulevard there was an apartment building sporting easily 10 Aimee Allison signs.

Yesterday I walked past Allison's head quarters on Grand Avenue to get to our bank, and past Kernighan's HQ on Lakeshore Blvd. to get to Arizmendi. It felt just like a neighborhood election should, with supporters wearing t-shirts and carrying clipboards. With candidates and volunteers working the crowd at the farmer's market.

The thing is, Pat Kernighan wanted no part of it.

Just before the election earlier this year, the Oakland Tribune ran an article that included this paragraph:
Late Tuesday night, as results showed Kernighan with a substantial lead, she said she was pleased with the figures but still concerned about a runoff. "I would much rather have it decided now, a runoff is such a waste of time and money,'' she said.
The runoff might have been avoided if the constituents of district 2 had voted for Pat Kernighan in sufficient numbers. We didn't. Therefore the election isn't a waste of time, but rather part of the due process of becoming our duly elected representative.

After the last two presidential elections, I find it baffling that anyone affiliated with the Deomcratic party would begrudge an aspect of the election process. That they would characterize any aspect of the process as a waste of time. Of course, outside of the page listing her various endorsements, the word 'democrat' doesn't appear on Pat Kernighan's website.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Lacing Them Up

I've recently started running again, even participated in a race with my wife while we were down in Florida (I'm the one in long sleeves). Those of you have known me for a while may recall that I ran competitively in High School. That I had knee trouble, something to do with my meniscus, and eventually took up rock climbing instead.


The running hurts in different ways than I recall, but it's been close to two months now. My lap around the lake tonight actually felt good.

A Competitive Impulse

Just after 6:30 this morning I loaded the ESPN home page. It took me a bit to notice the "breaking news" box, the picture of Jan Ullrich. That they treated the story in this way, should have given me some indication of the severity of the doping allegations that have emerged on the eve of the Tour de France.



My interest in the tour began back in 1997; desparate for a sports fix after the NBA finals. Two years ago A. and I sprang for cable TV, and we've been faithful watcher's of OLN's coverage ever since. That coverage can be maddening. They run the same handful of commercials over and over for the full three weeks of the race. A given day's coverage lasts for hours. The action hinges on a handful of moments.

Decisions to respond or not to another cyclist's attack, deferential gestures of camraderie, the curious sentimentality that enters into the latter stages of the race. Hand shakes or pats on the back as one rider moves ahead and another falls behind. Reinforcing the sense that the tour is a thing that the riders are enduring.

A thin collection of video highlights are yours for the viewing here. But like the last chapter of Mason and Dixon, the full weight of what you're taking in can only really be felt when you've put in the time.

Many of the cyclists implicated in the so-called Operación Puerto investigation had figured prominently in such moments. They were also favored to win this year. According to fellow cyclist Bobby Julich the evidence, at least against his team captain Ivan Basso, is largely circumstantial.



I'm inclined to be sympathetic either way. I can imagine the pressure to win the first "post-Lance" tour, and the quality of the competition compelling someone to go the illegal route. I can't imagine how terrible it would feel to be clean and realize that you wouldn't be participating in the tour. I can even imagine years of adversity, being so close to winning, compelling someone to believe that they are pure of heart and conscience no matter what they did.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Points South

You will have to take my word for it, but our tomato plants are going like gangbusters. Our pepper plants are getting tall and leafy. The creeping thyme I planted in the herb garden is looking to start some static with the sage and rosemary. All of which would I could feel good about in advance of a 4th of July party if it weren't for the mostly dead lawn. Our front and back yards are much on our minds, but then so too is vacation.

We'll be travelling to the Galapagos Islands for a kayaking trip. Flying into Quito, where we'll stay for a day before flying to Santa Maria Island (also known as Floreana). If the list of recommended items for purchase, and the list of recommended amounts for gratuity didn't make the trip excruciatingly real, the arrival this afternoon of two dry composting toilets --I prefer the term EcoBaƱos-- on our door step certainly did.

We first learned about the possibility of kayaking through the Galapagos in a New York Times article. The photo below ran along side the article, took up the front page of the Travel section that week actually, and I never really recovered from seeing it.


I intend to do some homework prior to our leaving. Brush up on my Darwin, that kind of thing. Reading through The Flamingo's Smile I was surprised to find that Darwin had set out from London as a doctrine-embracing fellow, who only reluctantly accepted the theory we now associate with him. Of course, prior to booking this trip I thought of Darwin only rarely. Usually as an otherwise indistinct white male wearing period knickers.

Amy's pregnancy has reached the point where folks often ask if we're excited about the baby's pending arrival. Having the baby, being through the pregnancy is very much on Amy's mind. But I think the reality of it is mitigated to some degree by the trip we'll be taking. We'll take lots of pictures.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Total Loss Weekend

In 1972 Don Delillo wrote a piece for Sports Illustrated titled Total Loss Weekend. The story followed a bettor who spends an entire weekend losing every bet he places. To be sure, the teams and players I followed this past weekend won some and lost some, but looking back from the gathering dusk of a Tuesday evening I'm wondering where the hell my weekend went.

I'd known this particular weekend was coming for a while. The NBA Finals plunging head long into the opening weekend of the FIFA World Cup, while the French Open drew to a close. In my mind, this perfect storm was ample justification for the purchase of a hideously expensive flat panel television. Throw in the Tour de France, and the purchase seemed like a no brainer. I'm happy to report that other priorities emerged.

With the bubblicious CRT in full effect, I watched and watched some more. The weather cooperated. By the time I made it out to the hammock on Saturday afternoon, I took a hooded sweatshirt with me. When Amy and I napped in the hammock Sunday, she brought a blanket.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Small and earnest

You may or may not know that I invest considerable psychological capital in my appearance. I experienced yesterday mostly in terms of heat and friends visiting. The official high temperature was only seventy-five degrees, but it had been a long couple of days in the yard. As afternoon rolled around, and friends began dropping by I worried in no particular order about whether or not I had hat hair, how sunburnt my face was, and whether or not it looked like we'd actually accomplished anything in the backyard.

I also worried that I'd crossed some sort of invisible threshold in perceived maturity because I was considering the shade and comfort of one of those floppy hats.

We do have large-scale plans for our back yard. Two retaining walls, a cast concrete fireplace for the patio, maybe a fountain. Since we also have big plans for the kitchen and the front yard, we decided that incremental progress would be better than letting nature take its course. The first two friends who stopped by could not say what had been done, though they've been unduly generous when surveying our homestead before.

We planted a small vegetable garden, turned an unused patch of bark into a fledgling herb garden, and even mowed the lawn. Of these efforts, the lawn-mowing was the biggest surprise. We're both decidedly anti-lawn, but didn't see ourselves removing it in the next couple of months.

Another friend described our fledgling tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants as,"small and earnest." The garden gets an incredible amount of sun though. A mix of western and south western exposure that stays with the plot through most of the afternoon. I know our garden will appear tall, weathered, and productive.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Floating Holiday

One of the numerous perks of my job is the availability of a floating holiday. It's essentially a get out of work free card, and each year you are given one. With good weather arriving in earnest yesterday, I decided to cash in my floating holiday today. Motivated, at least in part, by a strong desire to not find myself at Home Depot on Saturday morning during the first warm and dry weekend of spring, I started on our garden.

Like most of our projects so far, this one involved reversing certain decisions that the previous owner's of our house had made. In this case, removing chunks of bark that they'd covered raised garden beds with. Two hundred square feet of bark.There might be more efficient ways to dispose of all of it, but I went with these 30 gallon paper bags. Because they look cool.


Tomorrow we'll be mowing our plot of grass, and finding a way to get all this yard refuse to the curb.

Last storm of the season

I don't think of our brick house as having a view on par with other homes in the bay area. No bridges, no bay. The house is elevated from the street though, and you can see across the bay to the peninsula if we stand in a particular sport in the back yard.

These photos were taken a week ago. A storm front was supposed to blow in last Friday, with thunderstorms following Saturday. The rain never materialized, but we had big clouds and dramatic sunsets all weekend. With some luck, it will be the last storm front we see for a while. Here's the view I mentioned from the backyard:

Saturday, April 22, 2006

With the Spurs up by 30...

I'm packing some calories in as we head into the last few hours before our "Did he, or didn't he?" dinner. Where we'll open up our long standing debate, over whether or not Werner Herzog really did eat his shoe, to friends. A. contends no way. I'm a Werner-ite, and I glory in it.

It may be a thinly veiled excuse to grab some screen time on day one of the NBA Playoffs - the Spurs are up by 34 over the Kings.

It's been a heckuva day. We made it to Berkeley Bowl, the Grand Lake Farmers' Market, and Arizmendi by 11:22 this morning. Our East Bay culinary hat-trick included nearly an hour of looking for parking spots.

I will now go brown chicken livers, sweep, and wipe.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Soup and Ice Cream for Dinner

It had been a long time since I visited a dentist. Ultimately A. would have to insist. And when she did, it was a short hop from dentist to oral surgeon. You may be asking yourself what the appropriate photo for this post will be. Despite the three (3) teeth in a small manilla envelope on my dining table, I thought we'd go picture free - just this once.

Memorable moments along the way, include a dental hygienist describe my cleaning as, "removing barnacles from rock." She also asked me to stick out my tongue so that she could remove the accumulated plaque flakes from my tongue.

The oral surgeon removed those three teeth, and placed me on a soft food diet for the next seventy-two hours. This will make my other line of blogging , well, challenging. But it should contribute greatly to the health of my mouth.

Of the tooth extraction procedure, I will only say that despite a pineapple flavored numbing agent, a steady stream of nitrous, and the Mostly Mos' playlist on my iPod, the violence of tooth extraction was not lost on me. It came through mostly in the form of a vigorous back and forth motion as each tooth was removed by what looked shockingly like pliers.
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

There's nothing indicating it's going to stop

At the end of Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses, there's an observation that's been on my mind lately,"That's the problem with the British, their weather." In the context of the book the weather may explain hundreds of years of imperialist impulse and agression. We're in for another wet week here.


A big storm is supposed to arrive Tuesday. We haven't been able to grill for weeks. The local paper ran an article on how to cope with seasonal affective disorder:
... even folks who don't slip into depression every winter are starting to feel weighed down by the nearly nonstop storms -- especially when there's seemingly no end to the rainy days.

"A lot of people are at least paying lip service to this idea that the extended winter weather is having an adverse impact on the way they feel," said Dan Weiner, a clinical psychologist with the San Francisco Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy in Oakland.
It's April, I have an olive tree, and a book on creating mediteranean gardens. I spent yesterday cleaning the basement.


It's tempting to reconcile this bout of weather with our recent drought, though I fear something more insidious may be at work. Or, as a guy from Zimbabwe asked at the Farmers' Market yesterday,"What have you crazy Americans done?"

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Soldiers and Suits Follow-up

My earlier post, on the increasingly present soldier and suit motif, prompted three unsolicited reactions:
  • My lovely and talented wife liked it, but wished the post had a more pronounced critical perspective.
  • An old friend from high school wrote from Cincinatti to say that she found the mural particularly interesting, and that she wished there were more of that sort of thing near her.
  • As I mentioned in my last post, another friend responded by requesting more photos of shrubs.
Three unsolicited comments is something of a highwater mark for feedback around here, and for this and other reasons the soldiers and suits have stayed on my mind. Imagine my surprise then, as I walked by the Grand Lake Theatre today and ran into life-sized cutouts of the soldier and suit figures from that mural.


The cut outs were place there by Matt Reynoso, the artist responsible for the mural, who indicated that he'd been placing the soldiers in local cafes, including Arizmendi in Emeryville.

Matt's looking for sympathetic walls to place more murals on. If you have any leads send them his way.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Where are the shrubs?

Received an IM from a friend yesterday who expressed a longing for posts on, as he put it, "...paint choices and shrubbery and stuff". Paint choices are on hold for the time being, but as luck would have it, I did snap pictures of shrubs the other night. I was attempting to capture for posterity what I've described elsewhere as the "slow erratic descent of snow flakes" in our backyard.



As folks with lots of interests, it's difficult to maintain the separation of church and state - where church is our house, and state is the larger world. A. posts on everything from Jazz to TV commercials over at Tear In the Buttonhole. In addition to the more observantly critical stuff I've been posting here, I also sound my food yawp over at The Happy Consumptive.

I imagine each of these sites with a distinct --if modest-- following of colleagues, family, friends, and internet wanderers. Even with our own relatively small media empire, it can be difficult to post regularly. This will keep us, for the time being, a three blog family.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Soldiers and Suits

A couple of days before I started gathering images for my post on the geo-political nuances of the housing market, we noticed a building in West Oakland covered with stenciled images of business men and soldiers. The business men carried brief cases, the soldiers had a shilouette that was distinctly modern. I understood this to be a comment on the location of lethality and agency in our culture. I even felt vaguely guilty about appreciating it. It seemed anti-corporate in a way that wasn't —on some level— ironic.


A counter example might be the comic strip Get Your War On. To some extent, Get Your War On capitalizes on a technique popularized in Red Meat. Each strip relies on stereotypically representative characters, who say unexpected things.

In the absence of spirited dialog, juxtaposed images of business men in suits and soldiers in fatigues can only transcend their status as stereotypical representations through sheer repetition and our very specific socio-political context.

Something about the mural also reminded me of figures we'd seen at a war protest. A group of performance artists were walking through the crowds of people heading up Market Street in San Francisco. Dressed in suits and covered in fake blood. They were acting the part of television reporters - present, commenting, but not participating.


The visual register of the mural was evoked directly by a New York Times article entitled Death Wears a Crisp Black Suit (Requires Times Select). The article makes the point that one thing war might be good for is "making artists directly address political issues of their day."


Of course the iconography of privilege and the iconography of war have been closely associated for thousands of years. Suits have long since displaced more elaborate indicators of political power. These depictions though seem to have more to do with a very specific notion of enfranchisement than than they do privilege.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

A Partial Triumph

As a long time fan of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, I am familiar with the concept of the reality distortion field. The uncanny ability that S.Jobs has to make merely incremental improvements seem profound, is legend among Mac cultists.

I believe that our home exists within a similar field for our friends, who have been so genuinely happy for us that they have been able to overlook the fact that most of the front of it was covered in white paint, some more of it covered in blue. We believe that the paint was so unsightly, that the fact of it contributed directly to our actually being able to purchase the house.

With plans shaping up for our garden out front, and March closing in fast, we knew that we'd have to remove the paint before we put anything in the soil. So, we hit craigslist and cross-referenced the UC Berkeley Parents Network and found someone to remove the paint.

When we told friends that we had someone coming by to remove the paint, most of them indicated that they hadn't noticed the paint. One repeated the peculiar locution that she just thought that we had bought a house. I've always associated this sort of seemingly judgement-free observation with a certain midwest-flavored practicality. Compare then with Kewler Truong, of KB Jet Care, who during the three visits it took him to make serious headway against the paint, expressed profound incredulity that anyone would do such a thing.

We still have a ways to go. There are a few patches of brick that are still more white than not. The paint removal will also necessitate some mortar restoral. I found one chunk of mortar more than twenty feet away from the house. So far, the neighbors have been blessedly mum, though the owner of a gold Volvo hasn't parked in front of our house for a few days.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Buying In

We tell people that finding our brick house was easy, that it was the first house we looked at, and this is mostly true. There is an equally true version of the story in which we looked at houses for five years before we found this one.

We often looked at lofts or loft-like condos in West Oakland, an area that extends from downtown Oakland towards the San Francisco bay. It shares a northern border with Emeryville and western and southern borders with a curve of the 880 freeway.


When I came to Berkeley for college in 1991 there was a highly publicized funeral parade through West Oakland, held in memory of a local drug dealer. It was shortly after this that the television program 60 Minutes described the area as the most desparate in America. A city-within-a-city that had no grocery store, no bank, and a high school grade-level reading capability percentage of two percent(2%).

More recently the area has been in the news as the result of a group of rogue police officers who referred to themselves as "Rough Riders", who among other things were known to physically abuse suspects and non-suspects in between bouts of planting evidence.

After college, I worked in a neighborhood that was in a kind of demilitarized zone between the accelerating genrtification of Jack London Square and West Oakland. The streets were named after types of trees. To get to work I would pick up BART at the Downtown Berkeley stop and get off at the West Oakland stop. A fifteen (15) minute walk took me past the old Red Star Yeast facility, a Postal Service Driver Training course, and finally along several blocks of renovated brick buildings before reaching the one I worked in.


Some of the buildings along my route were abandoned, almost all of them had chain-link fences separating the sidewalk from pit bulls. In this area I felt physically threatened only once, by a homeless man who stood chest-to-chest with me and took off his shades to show me his fabulously blood-shot eyes. West Oakland proper was different.

An acquaintance of ours was mugged walking from his car to the warehouse he lived in. A. and I were driving through a stretch of the area near a large abandoned building that I'd been wanting to photograph. We approached one intersection at a four-way stop where every visible window seemed to have a mattress in it. We opted for a u-turn and got, as my mom and dad liked to say, the hell out of Dodge.

I bring these things up to add texture and perspective to a discussion of the Bay Area real estate market. Depending on the property, depending on the block, A. and I cannot afford to buy a house in West Oakland. There are a variety of reasons why this is the case, not the least of which is that we aren't prepared to leave the hills and be urban pioneers in the flats.

The geographical distinction between the hills and the flats of the East Bay, is a real thing. Banks generally aren't willing to finance in the flats to the degree that they are in the hills. Local newspaper delivery teams divide the bay area up in to vertical bands, ensuring that everyone gets some of the hills and some of the flats. A kind of iconic manifestation of this distinction involves two local hoops legends. Oakland native and NBA-baller Gary Payton brought Jason Kidd from the hills to the flats to toughen him up, to get the street in his game.

One side note, this distinction between hills and flats doesn't quite exist in Berkeley. Even as I acknowledge that there is real poverty and painful need in Berkeley, it's impossible not to feel that the entire city is either gentrified or gentrifying. I do not believe it is possible to purchase a move-in ready home in Berkeley for less than six hundred thousand dollars. I tried to for several months last year, and couldn't.


Which is one reason why we were looking to move into a loft or loft-like condominium in an area synonymous with economic adversity and racial tension. Two years ago we were very close to moving into a loft in a development on West Grand Avenue; about four city blocks west of Broadway. The unit we looked at had views of the bay bridge and downtown Oakland. The selling agent for the development described the neighborhood as transitional, a guy on the street offered to sell me a pair of shoes and then to go get me a pair of shoes in my size, the day we got the contract a murder was reported 3 blocks away. In that particular instance, the ultimate deterrent wound up being the cost of the property.

A. spent most of last year on the east coast studying at Columbia and then Harvard. I spent a handful of weekends in the spring driving from open house to open house with a real estate agent. Photographing each one, and emailing the images back to A. During a visit back home, she and I participated in a lottery for another West Oakland development, called West End commons.

"West End" referred to both the West End neighborhood of London, and an old name for the neighborhood where the buildings were being placed. An area known for streets with girl names and old victorian row houses.

West End Commons was being developed by the same folks who had built the Magnolia Row project a few blocks away. The architect for both projects was David Baker + Associates, a community minded architecture firm that volunteered its services for projects like a housing development for farm laborers near Half Moon Bay. Their work on Magnolia Row garnered several design awards, and the design of West End Commons was sone of the major selling points for the development.

On the day of the West End Commons lottery, no fewer than two hundred (200) pre-qualified people showed up for a chance at one of six (6) units in the development. There was a tent and a revival atmosphere. The real estate developer introduced membersof the sales team to the crowd one by one, to applause. The development was opened to the street, to the side walk. The weather was perfect and what I felt was optimism and a kind of belief.

One year later though, despite the metaphorical streets that run through it, West End Commons is essentially a gated community. The heralded design of the compound looks oddly sterile amongs the old brick and steel buildings that surround it. Not markedly different from the cookie-cutter apartment complex a few blocks away in Emeryville.




More disconcerting, The zoned-for-storefront spaces that several of the units touted --we'd discussed opening a cafe or small restaurant in ours-- appear to be being used as residential space.

I've no doubt that these things do take time, but am beginning to wonder if this specific type of community-building --the integration of a grafted-on upwardly mobile population with a long-time struggling resident population-- is really what we should be working toward.

My skepticism is derived at least in part from the stretch of Park Boulevard that runs from the Glen View neighborhood up the hill from us, down to Lake Merrit. A casual estimate of the populated storefronts along Park would suggest a 60% vacancy rate - despite the density of culturally-diverse, and relative financially secure persons living just north of Park Boulevard. I'm not basing these assumptions on much, just the relative density of folks donating to either democratic or republican parties in amounts exceeding one thousand dollars.



The Park Boulevard vacancy rate, of course, has everything to do with the still and yet more diverse population that lives to the south of Park Boulevard - East Oakland. An area known for "sideshows", crime, and good, cheap ethnic food.

The East Bay is simply running out of affordable housing. The various constituencies of its diverse population are not limiting themselves to neighborhood borders based on distinctions and assupmtions that the real estate market has rendered much less relevant. And, to be sure, "the haves" are bringing this to a head.

Once a transplanted community is established in the outlying areas of a major metroplitan area, they inevitably come in to close contact with the results of decades worth of NIMBY decision-making. Witness the continuing dust up between the residents of Magnolia Row and a nearby recycler.

In West Oakland, multilateral community activism resulted in the closing of the Red Star Yeast facility. The vacant land it used to occupy, and other vacant land will continue to be subject to in-fill development along the lines of Magnolia Row and West End Commons. There are simply too many people willing to assume a mortgage in excess of six hundred thousand dollars for this not to happen.

Each new development seems to be more insulated from the community it has landed in than the last. I've no doubt, for instance, that the tree lined 'lanes' behind the iron gates of West End Commons are, at least in part,a response to the experience of Magnolia Row residents who have to park their cars on the streets.


Which brings us back to our brick house. It was surprisingly easy to wind up here. The first time we went looking at open houses after A.'s trip back east, we stumbled on this place. I'm tempted to call the neighborhood suburban, despite the wall our backyard shares with Oakland High and the border we share with some authentic definition of East Oakland. All of the oakland neighborhoods I've discussed are less than five miles apart from one another.

I don't begrudge anyone --well, hardly anyone-- anything, but it doesn't seem like we've found a way to make this work. The plainest example of this is the city of Piedmont incorporating itself to opt out of the complexity of being part of Oakland.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Some Kind of Rhythm

Looking back over the last few posts, seems like we've fallen into a 'once every two weeks or so' rhythm. Rest assured though that we've been holding forth on diverse topics, and slaying various demons. The first half of February was very busy for both of us. I was involved in the planning and media production for an annual company event, while my lovely and talented wife travelled to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Where she delivered one helluva paper to an audience of 3. I suspect you may have an opportunity to hear more about this.

The annual company event almost always falls during the week of Valentine's Day. Turns out most companies prefer to not conduct week long conferences during that week, and so there are deals to be had on hotel ballrooms. Throw in the Sales Guy impulse to have their own room at the expense of certain creature comforts and refinements, and you wind up in Burlingame drinking pints with your co-workers at "Knuckles' Historical Sports Bar" on February 14th.

Only this year I elected to come home after the event kick-off, stopping at Urban Arrangement to grab the flowers you see here. While I was at the flower stand, a guy wearing a t-shirt printed with the image of a sheet of notebook paper walked up. He was holding the hand of his girlfriend. The notebook paper image depicted sketches and statements indicating his intention to get not one, but two lap dances. He purchased his girlfriend a single long-stem rose.

Trying to find a photo of the shirt online, all I could come up with was this.